"My hotel room that we're staying at here, they gave me the same room in the hotel. If you open the door, it looks right at the lobby. I could spit at the lady behind the counter. Its just really strange, a really odd place to be in a hotel...'Hellooo....'

So you can hear people checking out and hear people complaining about their bills. 'Hellooo....' Why would they put a room there? And they don't have a gift shop. Put a fucking gift shop where my room is.

Then you could get cigarrettes or a soda pop. Do y'all call it a soda pop here? We don't call it that in Virginia but I think that's pretty funny. [groan from audiance] SODA!

Soda pop. I like a soda pop-pop. Some people call it pop. Start the soda wars. 'Its fuckin' pop, no its fuckin' soda! I'll kick your ass!'

I'm feeling particularly silly today."