"Romance and Boogers, I got kind of lost as the caffennie filtered out. There was a girl I was really into when I was 15, 14 maybe. She was 15 or 14. Its ok to say it since I was 15 or 14 and she had this little 14 year old booty. Next thing you know I'm going to be on Jenny Jones talking about 14 year old booty.

I was so into it, I was doing everything in my power to get young Tanya. I had it one day, I was aiming at kissing at that stage. So closing the deal would have been just sucking on her lips a bit. But that was all I did. So I was swimming with her. You know all lapping up, and its cold. On a hot day. And then she was coming out, she came out the water like in the ads. Like in a magazine. And I was all excited.

And she had the biggest nastiest green booger hanging out of her nose. It was a panic reaction. What I wanted to say was 'Jesus Christ there's a fucking huge nasty booger hanging...' but what I said was 'there's a little somethign here.' but there was nothing small about it. Still to this day, she has no idea that that happened. So it took me about four and half years to recover, but I closed the deal about four and a half years later.

At which time, kissing was not the only thing on my mind. Romance, puppy love and boogers."